What Now?
Throughout the escape, Mom remained awake and seemingly awestruck by the events. She may not have been sure of what happened, but I’m sure she knew it was something terrible. Looking at her sitting in her pajamas, wondering what was going on, she looked very tired and fragile, and we knew we needed to get her someplace to rest. Jane began calling hotels in the immediate area, but apparently our delay in realizing the need to leave was a window of opportunity others from the area used to book rooms. None were available.
The parking lot at the casino saw a steady stream of cars arrive filled with people and their animals who had evacuated or escaped. They mingled outside their respective cars staring northward, wondering about neighbors and friends, looking intently at their cell phones for a reassuring text or email. It was like a scene from an alien invasion movie.
We, too, wondered about the fate of our friends and neighbors. We were able to contact our friends and found they were safely situated in their daughter’s home. Shortly after 4 a.m we got a call from our neighbor and friend. She had managed to get out of the house but could not get her car out of the garage, unable to reach the manual disconnect on the garage door. She wandered toward the fire station hoping to find some way to escape the flames that were now consuming homes along the entire block. The station was ablaze. She told us she thought she was in hell and was going to die there and then.
The smoke was overwhelming her asthmatic lungs and was about to bring her to her knees when two lights appeared through the thickening smoke. She waved her flashlight; the driver spotted her, stopped and drove her to safety. He was an off-duty fireman who was in the area to check on his home. She was reunited later that morning with her daughter.
The night was just beginning to fade when we left the casino and headed south in search of a hotel anywhere, even as far away as San Francisco. As our frustration mounted, a stroke of good fortune came our way: our neighbor, who was temporarily living in Spain, had just returned to the country to attend a meeting in San Diego. He saw the fire coverage on TV after landing and immediately called Jane to see what she knew. It was not good news, and she told him there was nothing he could do this a.m. She shared that all the hotels she had tried were booked and that we were still searching for rooms. A short while later his status as as a very frequent traveler paid off as he was was able to book two rooms at the local Hyatt Regency, available for check-in later that afternoon. We agreed to meet him there later in the day.
Meanwhile, my sister returned home, assured by neighbors and the news that the fire had not reached southwest Santa Rosa. We were about 20 miles south of Rohnert Park when she called to let us know she was home and that it was safe, so decided that we would take Mom to my sister’s house to get her a bathroom and a bed. What a trooper she had been.
As we approached an exit to head north, an unforgettable site unfolded in the northbound lanes: a parade of ambulances, two dozen at least, lights flashing, sirens blaring were traveling at breakneck speed toward the fire area. Our worst fears welled up. Our hearts went out to the victims. (We later learned the caravan was dispatched to the Kaiser Permanente Hospital to evacuate patients.)
We arrived at my sister’s home a little before 6 a.m. The smell of smoke was very heavy, and the sky to the north and east was a deep shade of grey and black. With the help of two neighbors we were able to get Mom out of the car, into her wheelchair which they carried into my sister’s home. She was “home.”
While Mom slept on the sofa bed in the living room, the rest of us gathered in the family room, watching the news coverage of the fire, which was still totally out of control with no containment in sight. We were numb. We shed tears for ourselves and others who were going through an unimaginable experience. Jane and I held each other. We feared that we had just lost everything we had worked for, planned for, sacrificed for. Our 47- year personal museum was likely gone, along with every artifact, every photograph, every stitch of clothes, everything.
Our new “everything” was on our backs and in our possession. At 73 and 70 respectively, it was a devastating blow to which our only response was “What Now”?
I see the hand of God in many of the coincidences you describe. I’m so sorry you went through this!
Thanks, Marian. We’ll never really know. Keep your faith. It makes life’s mountains easier to climb.
Omg this is wonderful written!!! Keep writing!!! I sure miss ya’ll! It was a hard Christmas this year as I’m sure it was for you too!!! Can’t wait to see y’all again!!!! Xoxo
Thanks, Diane. I’m working on the next section. Get your butt out here!
Thanks for sharing this with us. I am in awe of the experience and your artful telling of it. We are so glad that you, Jane and Pogo are our friends and neighbors. Love does stand.
Thanks, Vince. You and Joyce have been a big part of our trek to a new normal. So glad to have you in our life.
Dear Steve Jane. It is amazing how someone how someone could live thru such a tragic experience. Yes we felt so bad losing everything you worked for all your life for. you both have been so kind and caring to everyone in need,it is amazing life is stating over again. Your LOVE for each other is what has kept you both going. Your blog is great. Writing it had be very painful. Thanks… Love. B.J.
Thanks, B.J. It was tough at times, but I feel better having gone through the process. Your love and encouragement is a gift we cherish. And we are so grateful to you for keeping Mom in your life and bringing a smile to her face with every card. L0ve you.
Dear Steve, Your blog is an outstanding first person account of what happened and how it all affected you and yours. A brilliant piece of writing. Even though I knew the details, your writing builds tension and fear. Then the profound loss of everything. I am so impressed with this piece – it brought tears to my eyes. Both Ken and I read it with awe. Thank you for sharing this piece – keep on writing and we will keep on reading. Much love, Susan and Ken
Thanks you so much, Susan and Ken. It was a struggle at times but I feel better having a record of that night. The next blog will go into some of the detail of our experience at the site, including the incredible efforts of both of you to try to salvage some remnants of our life’s work. for which we areforever grateful. We may be in CA in January… will let you know when we confirm.. Meanwhile, Happy New Year. Love from us guys in Reno.:)
Steve and Jane-this account of what you endured absolutely blows my mind. I still can’t imagine going through this, yet I know that re-living and writing about this devastation probably has helped in many ways. Thanking God for your safety and a new place now called ‘home’.
Thanks,Debbie. We’re doing good. Life goes on.
This brought tears to my eyes, slowly running down my cheeks as I kept turning the pages. Thank you for sharing such a horrific, terrifying life experience. This read was amazing…just trying to imagine the every footstep and turn and emotion is indescribable. Love you both immensely and look forward to seeing your new beginnings in Reno. Xoxo
Love you, too. Your love and that of all the Morgans is a life treasure. ❤️
Dear Jane and Steve,
If it weren’t for Jane friending me last night, I would have never read this piece. I read it aloud to Fred with many breaks for the tears and anguish I felt for you and your family’s experience. My heart aches for what you went through. And, yes, God and life has a way of putting things into perspective.
This morning, I sat at my kitchen table full of sadness and anxiety of what lay ahead after my mother’s death. Then I read your blog. Your retelling if this horrific experience helped put mine into perspective. Yes, we all need to move on with love, kindness and grace, but mostly with love. Our friends, family and loving community are instrumental in moving forward. As the saying goes, “No man is an island.”
My prayers and thoughts are with you, always.
Nancy Krahn (née Bianowicz)
Thank you Nancy. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope the many wonderful memories you have of your Mom and the love of your family and friends bring you comfort as you move ahead. There’s a poem on our website –theeckels2.us — under the “Remembering” tab which I often read when I get very down about losing my Mom. It’s about love and grief. I think you will like it. Have a health and happy New Year, filled with lots of love.
I couldn’t get theeckels2.us. Could there be a letter or number missing.
Nancy
Hi Nancy…
http://theeckels2.us/ is the link. Try it from this link. It should work. Sent from my iPad
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I don’t even know what to say after reading your accounting. I too cried feeling the terror and danger. No wonder you have nightmares. I am so thankful my dear friends survived even though scathed. Only goes to show what wonderful people you are and that you are still needed on earth. Love to you both. Ruth and Marc
Thanks Ruthie and Marc. We’re well on our way to our new life thanks to the love and support of family like you. Have a great new year as you embark on a new phase of your life. Love and hugs.
Steve, My father John Saunders sent out the link to your blog and I read and was touched by every word. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I feel like I knew your mother, wife, pets and self while I learned your harrowing yet life affirming story. I am glad for my father and Anita that you must have become their new friends.
With heartfelt wishes to you and your wife,
Catherine Saunders Hartoch in Portland, Oregon
Thank you very much, Catherine, for taking the time to read it and for your very kind comments. We continue to rebuild our lives with the help of our new friends, your Dad and Anita among the best. John and I share Veteran status and hanging out at the pool. I often see him there where we both do our respective version of water exercise. He has a great sense of humor, one I enjoy immensely. And a keen sense of the political environment. I hope you visit him and Anita in the near future. It would be great to me you in person.
Thanks again and take care.